st lucia or bust

so here i am. sitting in the miami airport with 43 other peace corps volunteers awaiting the arrival of our plane that will take us on to the islands mon. it's amazing how all of this still doesn't seem real....
landing in miami....sitting in a room with 40 other people who share the idealistic goals and spirit as me...arriving in the dark to the airport with seemingly hundreds upon hundreds of pounds of luggage...which will surely be too much...sitting here. sitting here....this is really happening. we are really all here about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. it's impressed upon me how intricately unique i am and how much i have to offer this world.
thank you universe for seeing me. thank you for inspiring me. and thank you for supporting me in all that has gotten me here.
i will do you proud.

next time i write....i'll be in st lucia!!!


so. much. stuff.

here i am....two days out. i don't know if i have even written about the amazing unfolding of events that have led up to this evening. i had a final interview with Sharmon, the Peace Corps director in St Lucia to talk about my experience and assure that i was fitted appropriately to an assignment. after talking for a little while she told me of a program that is starting on Feb 1...just days after i arrive, that is a jail diversion program for court ordered youth that have been previously incarcerated and are now in the system. basically i would be doing exactly what i do here except i would get the opportunity to do more training and program development as well as groups. she asked if it was something i would be interested....
i started to cry.
this entire process has been absolute universal validation that i am on the path that is absolutely, divinely perfect for my soul. that being said...these last two days of trying to fit everything i want to bring into two bags weighing under 80 lbs total has been a complete stress inducer. i have know along the way to stop and breathe and be present....
it doesn't help. partly because i know that 60% or more of the stuff i am bringing i will probably not need. i pride myself on the ability to pack light and need little and yet....i am wandering off into the Peace Corps with one too many pairs of really cute shoes...a plethora of work outfits...too many bikinis....and trying with all of my might not to bring the 600 books i want to bring.
i have such a knowledge of the concept of stuff. i have too much of it. even after i have purged nearly everything i own...i still find myself riddled with a million things i need to take to my parents house to store. it will be interesting to see what becomes of all this stuff as i make my descent and my final landing to the place i will call home for the next two years. inevitably a lot of it will wind up in the hands of others...as it always does ...and i will once again be left with the essentials that make me simply happy.

one more night in my own bed. one night in another and then i will be sleeping in beds that are foreign to me for quite some time. i will be living with people that i have never known before but that will soon become my second family. i will learn and love and grow deeper and stronger and more intensely than i have up to this point of my life. and i will know that every single event that has woven into my life has brought me to this point. so with gratitude and love and light i say to you....

good night.



i am 18 days and counting. working for two hours on lightening my load even a little more. certain that the amount that i take will still be too much but hopefully useful. feeling like the books are outnumbering the clothes. ah....a life well lived thus far.

dear st lucia.
i love you already.