life

so the peace corps. i was chosen. i was chosen to serve. i was chosen to serve in another country based on my skills. i was chosen to serve in another country based on my skills and with the previous life i have lived. my entire life has existed so that this moment could happen. every twist, every turn, every choice that backfired in one hundred directions...they all existed so that i could be accepted to fulfill something that is so much bigger than i. i am being given the chance of a lifetime. to step into a world completely foreign to my own with the faith and trust of an entire group of people who don't even know me...with the expectation that i will be. that i will serve freely and connect deeply. i was chosen from an institution that i was once incarcerated by. if that is not some of the most profound shit you've ever seen or heard in your life then you might not be awake. or alive.
it's proof. i am living proof that if you listen, you trust, and you fulfill what you were here to do you will be seen, you will be tapped.

i have known without a shadow of a doubt, many moons ago, that i was here to serve. everything that i have done from a young age has been in the purpose of reaching out to and connecting with others. once i got out of the way of myself i started to see my truth. i started to breathe from my light. and that light has always tinted toward the special nature of me. whatever it is that i was supposed to do...whoever it is i was supposed to be has been lit in a way that has always guided me...even through the darkest nights. i have never in my life wanted something so deeply and gotten it. i have always wished...every wish that is given to me...for love. i never told anyone that because you aren't supposed to tell your wishes...and then right before the beginning of this year i found that love in a way and space i had never expected. open love. true love. one love. a love that lasts because it's eternal, universal, divine love. i went to school because i was good at it...because...what else would i do. i traveled because i was called to...because i was seeking. i got my masters because it was the next step. i applied to the peace corps because it's my essence. it's my soul's calling. service.

we look for validation around every corner. validation that we are loved. validation that we are seen. validation that we are heard. validation that we are beautiful, smart, talented. this validation...it's a validation of the universe. it's a validation of my soul's calling. and it's huge. this is the biggest thing i have ever longed for in my life and the universe has seen me. has entrusted in me the ability to step out into the world and connect with an entirely foreign culture and group of people with the faith that i can and will. and i believe this only comes from all of the side paths i chose along the way to get me here. i am living proof that you are not defined by the choices you make. that your life is always waiting for you to live it. that you are here for a purpose and no matter how many wrong turns you take, your life is always waiting for you to just turn that corner and see the light that has been lit...eternally.

i was chosen. i was chosen to serve. i was chosen because i chose to serve myself and in doing so learned the importance of sharing that wealth.